Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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