My pussy is not your playground.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
