If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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