Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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