I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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