we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
