i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
