yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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