hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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