My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
