i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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