It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
