is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
