I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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