Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
