so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
