butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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