i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
