Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
