There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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