put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
