The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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