Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
