Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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