If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
ok first of all what the fuck
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
