you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize