I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize