that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
