I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
