she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
