Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
