escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
