google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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