so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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