It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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