I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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