I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
