Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize