The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
