I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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