i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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