dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
