I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
