you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
