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• (303): View more from Colorado

  i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result

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• (619): View more from California

  I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  this weekend will be like the season finale to my life

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays

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• (914): View more from New York

  My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.

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