I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
