Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
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all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
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Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.