I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again