Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?

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(312): Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place? http://tfl.nu/b6u5

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(702): View more from Nevada

Its only 8 and she is already passed out

(1-702): View more from Nevada

Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2

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(702): Its only 8 and she is already passed out (1-702): Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2 http://tfl.nu/cu8c

Replies (73) Good night (1311) Bad night (3619)
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(510): View more from California

just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?

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(510): just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right? http://tfl.nu/dlby

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(812): View more from Indiana

Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue

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(812): Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue http://tfl.nu/ir9h

Replies (93) Good night (4566) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
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(616): View more from Michigan

So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???

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(616): So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo??? http://tfl.nu/k6yj

Replies (22) Good night (981) Bad night (4837) Order T-Shirt
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(325): View more from Texas

Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.

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(325): Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms. http://tfl.nu/9ede

Replies (8) Good night (3345) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
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(214): View more from Texas

Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.

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(214): Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman. http://tfl.nu/itkd

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(813): View more from Florida

obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.

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(813): obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary. http://tfl.nu/eqex

Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
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(734): View more from Michigan

Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.

(904): View more from Florida

So when does your new flight leave?

(734): View more from Michigan

At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying

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(734): Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight. (904): So when does your new flight leave? (734): At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying http://tfl.nu/33le

Replies (8) Good night (1835) Bad night (536)
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(209): View more from California

Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something

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(209): Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something http://tfl.nu/htcf

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(860): View more from Connecticut

She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.

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(860): She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused. http://tfl.nu/7uxa

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(517): View more from Michigan

There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are

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(517): There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are http://tfl.nu/38ue

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.

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(414): I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest. http://tfl.nu/z09j

Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (201) Order T-Shirt
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour

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(774): It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour http://tfl.nu/kved

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(585): View more from New York

we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT

(1-585): View more from New York

Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.

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(585): we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT (1-585): Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink. http://tfl.nu/wawv

Replies (3) Good night (697) Bad night (166)

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