What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
