i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
don't judge my taste in strippers
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
