Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize