I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
