I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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