cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
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Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
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I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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