Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
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Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
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Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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