Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
