I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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