i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
