i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
