K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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