Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
