I would go down on you faster than GM stock
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
