dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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