addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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