he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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